Cowman writes: “I spotted a whole bunch of pigs on the train the other day, apparently I was on the cattle car.
First, in walked two piggies who sat down and consumed their slices of pizza in unison. They ate together so perfectly, you’d think they were training for the Piglympics.
All of a sudden momma pig entered the car with her baby, whipped out her teat and started breastfeeding her little piglet right there on the train. It could have been cute except for the fact that it was disgusting.”
Say it with us….just like George Takei in the commercial…..”OHHHH MYYYYY!!!“
This unfortunate behavior has been spotted above ground by the Head Pigparazzi in Charge (me).
OK fine, first person for these two stories:
1. I was at one of my favorite bars in Brooklyn (dba) sipping a pint of fine stout in the back garden area a couple of weekends ago with a friend. There were several couples there with babies.
All of a sudden, not two feet away, out came a teat and feeding began. My friend was seething. I was laughing.
2. I had just flown into San Francisco for a fun vacation with my then-girlfriend. We found ourselves heading into the cafeteria of a store called Berkeley Bowl (yes, in Berkeley) to scarf down burritos shortly after landing.
All of a sudden, not two feet away, a couple placed their baby ON THEIR DINING TABLE and proceeded to change a POOPIE DIAPER.
Welcome to California, indeed. People are vile, disgusting creatures across this great country of ours.
And now, our take on an American classic:
This dump is your dump, this dump is my dump
From California, to the New York Island From the redwood forest, to the gulf stream waters This dump was made for you and me As I was riding the disgusting subway I saw above me an endless McFlurry
I saw below me a five dollar footlong
This dump was made for you and me Chorus I've roamed and rambled and I've followed my footsteps To the sparkling streets of the town of Berkeley
And all around me babies were pooping This land was made for you and me Chorus The sun comes shining as I was strolling The wheat fields waving and the dust clouds rolling The mother was lifting her shirt for feeding
This land was made for you and me Chorus As I was MTA ridin' - I saw a sign there And that sign said - no radio playin' But about the feeders.... it didn't say nothin! Doodie was made for you and me! Chorus In the squares of the city - In the shadow of the steeple Near the subway station - I see my people And some are feeding and some are crapping
Is this land still made for you and me?